When I was about 13, I was thrown into a debate on women's issues (on stage in front of almost 1,000 people) because one team was down a person. My English teacher picked me because I was passionate about women's issues (yes, I have been a womanist a LONG time). I had no prep, came to be a spectator, no prior debate training (arguing with friends and family don't count), and my adrenaline was rushing. I was great the first round, I got a lot of applause. And then I faltered. I had passion going for me but no responses to the other side after the first round. I was not prepared. I hated that feeling. This feeling has impacted how I choose to appear, speak, and am intentional about being heard. Focusing on effective communication skills has been a life long commitment.
One area that continues to fascinate me is cultural fluency and how it affects our ability to communicate effectively. Let me put it this way - effective communication (and leadership) in the 21st century requires cultural fluency. What in the world does that mean? Well, let me explain. I once had a conversation with my mother-in-law where I showed her some plates that I adored and wanted to buy. She noted that the plates "were different." This delighted me. The plates were different and exactly what attracted me to them. Seeing my excitement and no doubt realizing that I heard something different, she clarified "When I say this is
different, I mean I don't
like it." My mother-in-law's Iowa style of communication in comparison to the direct communication that I grew up with meant that I was taking her words
literally when she was telling me in her indirect communication style that she didn't like something. I bet you have had situations where you walked away from a conversation and had a different understanding of what just happened from the person you talked to. We were communicating across cultural differences.
Culture is defined as the patterns and behaviors that a group shares; it is the lens through which we perceive, hear, understand, judge and value. Cultural intelligence or fluency refers to the ability of an individual to communicate and adapt effectively across cultures and work well with others from different cultures. Cultural fluency requires attention to dimensions of culture - one of which is direct versus indirect communication. My mother-in-law was using indirect communication, I understood (and rely on) direct communication.
The upcoming DRI Women in the Law Seminar, February 1-3 in Scottsdale has an agenda packed with content intended to elevate your career success skills, provide CLE and networking opportunities. One of the CLE sessions is on Effective Communication: Taking it To the Next Level. I will be speaking in one of those sessions and will be your translator in communicating effectively across differences whether in interviewing, coaching and giving feedback, before the Executive Committee or Board, while working with clients, or in the courtroom. Bottom line - when you say tomaydo and I say Tohmahtoh, we may not be having the same conversation.
You can register for the seminar
here